RAMBLE: You Are Not Special

SOURCE:  YouTube

I usually listen to the radio as I get ready for work in the morning.  Usually the only items I pay attention to are the traffic updates, the news, and sometimes the Hollywood gossip feature.  The rest of the items that fill the airwaves fall into the "background noise" category.

So, in order for something on the radio to catch me attention, it has to be something unusual.  This unusual sound byte perked my ears up last week.  The deejay mentioned a high school graduation speech given by the high school's English teacher.  The speaker stood in front of the Wellesley High School graduating class and said, "You are not special."  This speech was so extraordinary that its video on YouTube has gone viral and has sparked debate about how appropriate the speech was for a high school graduation.

Right off the bat, sure, I agree with the opponents of this speech.  How could you say to a bunch of happy high school seniors full of promise and dreams that they are not special?  Why, that's almost down right rude and mean to say, especially on their special day.  However, critics are taking these four words, "you are not special" out of context.  Mr. McCullough is not insulting his beloved students, he is encouraging them to be all that they can be.

Mr. McCullough states:

"Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped.  Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again.  You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored.  You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie.  Yes, you have.  And, certainly, we’ve been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs.  Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet.  Why, maybe you’ve even had your picture in the Townsman!  And now you’ve conquered high school… and, indisputably, here we all have gathered for you, the pride and joy of this fine community, the first to emerge from that magnificent new building…  But do not get the idea that you're anything special.  Because you're not."

Hmm, I have to say that I agree with him.  Parenting philosophies have changed over time.  We no longer believe in the notion that children should be seen and not heard.  We provide our children with everything we can to nurture them, love them, protect them, guide them, and educate them.  We celebrate all achievements whether big or small, turn negatives into positives, and teach rather than punish.  We love our children and only want the very best for them.  And honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  However, what if all of our love and care creates a false sense of entitlement in our children?

He goes on to justify:

"You see, if everyone is special, then no one is.  If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless.  In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another--which springs, I think, from our fear of our own insignificance, a subset of our dread of mortality--we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement.  We have come to see them as the point--and we’re happy to compromise standards, or ignore reality, if we suspect that’s the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole.  No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it… Now it’s “So what does this get me?”  As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans.  It’s an epidemic--and in its way, not even dear old Wellesley High is immune… one of the best of the 37,000 nationwide, Wellesley High School… where good is no longer good enough, where a B is the new C, and the mid-level curriculum is called Advanced College Placement.  And I hope you caught me when I said “one of the best.”  I said “one of the best” so we can feel better about ourselves, so we can bask in a little easy distinction, however vague and unverifiable, and count ourselves among the elite, whoever they might be, and enjoy a perceived leg up on the perceived competition.  But the phrase defies logic.  By definition there can be only one best.  You’re it or you’re not."

His logic is one that is highly debatable and controversial to some, but I have to admit that I agree with him.  Despite his words being hard to swallow at first, his point is simple:  Everyone does not receive a trophy at the end of the game.  Life is about winning AND losing.  You have to learn how to win and lose.  While the sting of failure is often avoided at all costs, failure is the source of some of the greatest lessons in life.

Mr. McCullough advises:

"The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer.  You’ll note the founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness--quite an active verb, “pursuit”--which leaves, I should think, little time for lying around watching parrots rollerskate on Youtube.  The first President Roosevelt, the old rough rider, advocated the strenuous life.  Mr. Thoreau wanted to drive life into a corner, to live deep and suck out all the marrow.  The poet Mary Oliver tells us to row, row into the swirl and roil.  Locally, someone… I forget who… from time to time encourages young scholars to carpe the heck out of the diem.  The point is the same: get busy, have at it.  Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you.  Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands."

He concludes:

"None of this day-seizing, though, this YLOOing, should be interpreted as license for self-indulgence.  Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct.  It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things.  Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view.  Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.  Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly.  Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion--and those who will follow them.  And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself.  The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special.  Because everyone is."

And that to me, is the REAL point of Mr. McCullough's speech.  Don't merely think that you are special.  Instead, BE special.  Live up to your potential.  Those are words that we should all continue to live by.

RAMBLE: Graduation

Punahou School Commencement 2012

Tonight I attended my cousin's graduation from high school.  His graduation took me down memory lane when I graduated from Punahou School and stood on the same exact stage to receive my diploma.  Not much has really changed since I graduated.  The Punahou Symphony Orchestra still plays Pomp and Circumstance as the graduates walk into the Blaisdell Arena arm-and-arm with each other.  Sprays of plumeria still adorn the stage backdrop along with the huge Punahou seal.  The graduates still sing Oahu Wa and cheer "Strawberry Shortcake".  But most of all, all the graduates were filled with the same excitement, pride, and hope that I felt when I graduated from high school.

Of all my graduations, my high school graduation meant the most to me.  My college graduation probably rates at the bottom of the three.  It was pretty lackluster.  I barely remember most of what was said or even who the key note speaker was that day.  All I remember was that I was ordered to walk at graduation when my parents found out that I was thinking about skipping the whole thing all together and picking up my diploma from the registrar's office.  I possessed a nonchalant attitude as I strutted down the aisle of the Stan Sheriff Arena.  I received my college diploma without a job lined up or any clue what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Instead, I was intending to re-enroll as a post baccalaureate student until I figured out what in the world I wanted to do with my life.

My law school graduation rates second because that was a personal achievement for me.  Attending and graduating from law school was an accumulation of my effort, perseverance, and a little bit of courage.  Law school was tough, but getting through law school and passing the bar exam was something I wanted to do for myself and I was committed to achieving my goal.  Thus, my graduation was more personal in nature for me.

However, my high school graduation tops my list because the event was a rite of passage.  It was the end of childhood and the beginning to endless possibilities.  I remember standing on stage with the realization that there were so many doors that were open thanks to my parents and family for giving me roots and my teachers for giving me branches.  Now, I needed to find leaves.

My high school graduation was also important for my grandmother who as a young teen was forced to put aside her desire to attend high school in order to help her family.  She truly believed that an education was a master key that opened so many doors and always emphasized our studies.  I am her youngest grandchild, so she didn't think that she would be around when I graduated from high school.  However, thanks to great medical advances and probably good genes, my grandmother lived long enough to see me graduate from high school.  I remember sitting on stage and looking out into the audience and seeing her have with the biggest beaming smile.  After the ceremony, she hung a beautiful double maile lei around my neck and openly wept in my arms.  It was a moment that I will never forget and still brings tears to my eyes when I remember it.

My grandmother was still alive when I graduated from college and law school, and passed the bar exam, but my high school graduation was the biggest for her and for me.  It was the first time I realized why education was so important.  It was more than fulfilling academic requirements, I was fulfilling an unrealized dream for my grandmother and other women like her who sacrificed their education.

Tonight, as watched my cousin and his high school classmates receive their diplomas, I walked down memory lane and remembered how fortunate I am to not only have the opportunity to graduate from an outstanding school, but the support from my family.  Congratulations to the Class of 2012!

BEAUTY REVIEW: Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion

SOURCE:  urbandecay.com

I noticed that my most recent posts have consisted of bad reviews regarding drugstore cosmetic products, so I thought I would stray from this trend and post a review about a cosmetic product that I love.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I have oily eyelids, which affects the lasting power of my eyeshadows.  I am a big believer that drugstore cosmetics can be just as good as department store brands, so I usually try drugstore varieties before investing my hard earned money on more expensive high-end products.  Thus, I tried the L'Oreal De-Crease Eye Shadow Base first.  Unfortunately, I didn't see any remarkable results or improvements when I used the De-Crease product.  My eyeshadow still faded and creased within no time at all.

I finally caved in at Sephora one day and decided to purchase the Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion.  Virtually every makeup guru on YouTube owns a tube or bottle of this eyeshadow base.  I bought the original primer potion in the professional size because I figured that I would get more bang for my buck.  I also heard that the squeeze tube was easier to use and last longer than the original potion bottle with the applicator wand.  The salesperson at the case register at Sephora said that I would not be disappointed and she was totally right.

I have been a fan of this product since the first day I used it.  The primer is light and creamy and dries invisible on the skin.  It helps to brighten your eyeshadow shades while providing the best last power that resists fading and creasing.  I was so impressed with how my eyeshadow and eyeliner held up way past my lunch hour.  During my pre-eyeshadow primer days, I would always find myself in front of the bathroom mirror after lunch carefully wiping away my raccoon eyes.  Now, all I need is powder touch ups for my face and rarely have to wipe away raccoon under eye circles...only the outer eye corner areas at best (I have teary eyes from time to time).

The squeeze tube bottle is easy to use and the needle point dispenser top makes application as breeze.  I usually dab a small amount on the tip of my finger and blend the product with a finger tip along my entire upper eyelid.  I find that just a little bit goes a long way and am so impressed with the staying power of my eyeshadow when I use it, which is daily.

I am still a fan of drugstore makeup products, but make exceptions for higher-end products that work, especially when they work better than the drugstore products.  A huge thumbs up!

BEAUTY REVIEW: Maybelline Dream Mousse Blushes -- DISCONTINUED

Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush in Pink Frosted, Soft Plum, and Rose Petal (L to R)

I came to the conclusion the other night that I have too many items in my makeup stash that I don't use anymore.  I also realized that rather than tossing these used and neglected products into the trash, I was saving them to do a review.  By the way, I take total blame for my procrastination.  Due to my procrastination, some of these neglected or rejected items have been discontinued in the interim by their manufacturers, such as the Maybelline Dream Mousse Blushes.

I previously fell in love with the Maybelline Dream Mousse Concealer many moons ago until Maybelline decided to discontinue the concealers, but still stick with blushes and bronzers.  In fact, one of my very first blog posts was about my frustration over discovering that my favorite concealer was no longer available on the market.  I guess Maybelline decided that it was time for the blushes and bronzers to go as well because I noticed on Maybelline's website that these products have been discontinued.

I am not fretting over this news like I did when I found out about the concealer because the Dream Mousse Blushes were just okay.  Perhaps I am too used to powder blushes, so anything that is in mousse or cream form is a little suspect to me.  However, I used these Dream Mousse Blushes periodically for over two months and I was just not sold on them.

I bought and used three shades:  Pink Frosted, Soft Plum, and Rose Petal.  The product comes in a small heavy clear glass paint pot jar.  The blushes really look and feel like a mousse dessert--light weight and a little fluffy.  The color selection was not very large as I recall (maybe five or six different shades?), so I picked the shades that I thought would match my skin tone the best.

The positives:

• Easy application.  I just used my fingertips in lieu of a blush brush.
• The mousse consistency applies with a powdery finish, but more on the finished look below under the negatives.
• Easy items to pack while traveling.  The packaging and blush consistency make these blushes a great product to take with you when you travel because you don't have to worry about your powder blushes cracking or breaking.

The negatives:

•  Limited blush shade selection.  All of the shades looked fairly similar to each other with just fine differences between them.  None of the shades available were particularly bright and most fall along the lines of a subdued pink or health rose shade.  The brightest shade was Pink Frosting.
• The powdery finish does not blend well and has a bit of a glittery finish.  The more I tried to carefully blend the product, the more it started to clump together.  The product also has a bit of a sheen, so if you are looking for a matte finish, this is not the product for you.
• There is not much of a color payoff .  I was a bit disappointed in the limited color payoff of this product.  The shades were pretty in the paint pots, but washed out once applied to my cheeks.  Pink Frosting had the best color payoff compared to the other shades, but not by much.
• The product is not long lasting.  Perhaps it is due to my over blending, but I found that the cheek color faded away by noon.  Rose Petal performed the worst.

I am assuming Maybelline discontinued the Dream Mousse Blushes to replace them with the Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blushes.  However, after the lackluster performance of the Dream Mousse Blushes, I am not interested in the Dream Bouncy Blushes.  Oh well, one less product to keep in my makeup stash and with this post, off to the trash can!

BEAUTY REVIEW: L'Oreal Concentrated Lash Boosting Serum

SOURCE:  Drugstore.com

I admit it.  I am a puny eyelash sufferer.  No matter how many layers of volume boosting mascara I apply, I am still a victim of puny eyelashes.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not ashamed.  I take my less than stellar eyelashes in stride.  And, after trying the L'Oreal Concentrated Lash Boosting Serum, I will continue to take my eyelash shortcomings in stride.

My local drugstore was having a sale on all L'Oreal cosmetic products several months ago, so I thought that would be a perfect opportunity for me to try out the lash boosting serum that several YouTube beauty gurus were raving about.  Again, I wanted to see if the product really lived up to all of its hype.  Sadly, this product did not.

The description for the lash serum states on the L'Oreal website that it contains "Centella Asiatica extract and Arginine to reinforce, condition, and protect each lash."  To tell you the truth, I have no clue what Centella Asiatica extract or Arginine are, but I'll give it a whirl!

I applied the lash serum daily to my bare lashes at night by using the soft serum applicator that was gently curved in the shape of the average eye.  I placed emphasis on "average" because my small Asian eyes do not normally fit the size of the average eye, but I tried my best not to poke my eyeball!  The lash serum can be used twice a day, underneath mascara and on bare lashes at night.  Perhaps my failure in applying the lash serum under my mascara contributed to the downfall of this product because I didn't see much results, especially after four weeks, like the website claims.  My eyelashes essentially looked the same as they did when I first started to use this product...puny.

However, I do have some positive things to say about this product.  First, the product conditioned my lashes.  I found that my lashes became softer thereby preventing them from breaking or falling out.  Second, the serum did not leave a residue or dark markings.  I read that one of the side effects of using some of these rapid growth lash treatments is darkening around the eye line.  The clear serum applies and dries clear without a sticky residue.  Lastly, the serum does not burn when applied.

Oh well.  I guess I will just keep applying mascara and eyeliner.  It's totally fine with me.

BEAUTY REVIEW: Maybelline Fit Me Blushes & Bronzer

From upper left hand corner going clockwise:  Blush in Light Pink, Bronzer in Golden Tan, Blush in Medium Pink, and Blush in Medium Coral.

I've started getting into blushes recently.  Perhaps I am starting to realize that I have enough eyeshadows to last me several lifetimes (okay...that's an exaggeration, but I admit that I have more than enough), but not that many blushes.  I was starting to get tired of using the same coral blush and wanted to branch out and explore different shades and colors, so I figured I would start with the drugstore brands first before laying down some hard earned cash on department store blushes.

My local drugstore was having a sale on Maybelline cosmetic products several months ago, so I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to try out their new Fit Me line of cosmetics.  The Fit Me! line has an assortment of liquid foundations, face powders, concealers, blushes, and bronzers to fit your skin tone.  Maybelline claims on its website that its blushes "provide a natural, fade-proof cheek color that leaves the skin the way it was meant to be...fresh, breathing, and natural."  The bronzers claim to also provide the a fade-proof bronze color.

The blushes come in twelve shades and the bronzers come in three different shades.  I bought the blushes in Light Pink, Medium Pink, and Medium Coral and a bronzer in Medium Bronze (see, picture above).  My local drugstore didn't have all of the twelve blush shades available, but I thought the three that I purchased would be a good start for me and neutral enough to match my skin tone.

Being that I consider myself a newbie on blushes and bronzers, I shouldn't cast stones, but these products failed to even live up to my naive expectations.  The blush and bronze colors look very pretty in their packages, but unfortunately, the compliments stop there.  The blushes and bronzer I bought are not blendable and in fact, the product is so dense that I had a difficult time lifting the blush or bronzer onto my makeup brush.  You actually have to use deliberate scrubbing motions in order get get any product onto your brush.  Furthermore, the blushes and bronzer are not very pigmented.  You need to build quite a bit onto your cheeks in order to see any color payoff.

All in all, the Fit Me line of blushers and bronzers are a huge disappointment and will be tossed into the trash as soon as I am done posting this review.  What's the point?  Maybelline needs to go back to the drawing board with this product.

RAVE FAVE: Korean Amethyst Jewelry

Amethyst & Citrine 4-in-1 Necklace

I know, it has literally been FOREVER since I blogged.  While a busy work schedule is not the best excuse to offer, that is actually the honest reason for my long absence from this blog.  I am hoping to get back to the swing of blogging.  I admit that I have been engaging in quite a bit of retail therapy since January.  Stress at the office fuels the little shopping monster in me, so I should have no problem with what to write about when things start to calm down.  That's something to definitely look forward to!

There is a recent addition that I wanted to share, which incidentally I did not purchase.  My amethyst and citrine necklace from Korea.  Last October, my parents went on a 10-day tour of Korea.  One of the tour stops included a huge jewelry shop selling Korean amethyst.  My mom usually doesn't go nuts in a jewelry store.  She will look through all of the glass cases, but always stops short of asking the salesperson for the price of the sparkly bauble she is eying.  Her mantra is, "If it's in a locked jewelry case, then it's probably out of my price range, so why bother."  My dad, on the other hand, rarely if ever steps foot in a jewelry store.  He would rather poke his eyeballs out than to suffer through the torture of combing through the jewelry cases.

Thus, the fact that my parents (1) entered and perused through a jewelry store, and (2) BOUGHT a few baubles at the jewelry store is nothing short of a miracle.  Perhaps it was the excitement of being in a foreign country.  Whatever it was that tickled their own little internal shopping monsters, I am thankful because I received a great present!

My mom told me that as soon as the woman at the jewelry store showed her this piece, she knew that I would love it.  Moms do know best because this is one of my favorite pieces of jewelry that I own.  It is literally four necklaces in one.  The round pendant is two sided with purple amethyst on one side and yellow citrine on the other.  The round pendant pulls apart to four smaller triangular pieces to create a beautiful and dainty citrine or amethyst choker.  The sterling silver chain is also adjustable so that I can wear it as a choker or at a longer length, or even adjust it to the collar line of my blouse, shirt, or dress.  This necklace is so versatile that I can wear it for the daytime or evening with dark or light colors of clothing.  I seriously love, love, love!!